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 Edited by Donna Lee Brien (general), Philip Neilsen (poetry), and Axel Bruns (hypermedia and Webmaster) ISSN 1444-2817 
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  ........... ........... ............ Dancers Don't Use Doctors          
Laurie Rosenblatt          
 
  See, I'm a performer. I've spent my life peeling off the layers, asking, "What's authentic?" I show up on stage and you see me. Then I come to a place where the protection is so damned thick. I have to ask, "Who am I talking to when I'm talking to you? Who are you?" So, for me, the place is incomprehensible. I don't know what's appropriate. I feel completely lost in this environment. To me it is an illness in and of itself.
  5  
  The doctor looks at me, and says, "We found cancer in your lungs. You now have stage 4 cancer." I ask, "Well, what about stage 5 and 6?" He says, "There is no stage 5 or 6." And then, "Because your cancer is estrogen-positive, the only thing we can recommend at this time is hormonal treatment. You can do Lupron, or Tamoxifen; you can have your ovaries removed." So then he gives me Lupron, and within forty-eight hours I'm a Sexless Cow. I don't care about anything. Do they not understand, when you mess with a person's hormones, you're messing with their spirituality?
  6  
  Now, for your average Joe who reads Robert Ludlum, watches television, and eats fast food, there's not too much vibration going on in the chakras. I totally understand, they probably hate their job, and beat their dog. Whatever. But for someone who has spent their entire life shedding unhealthy habits, studying, practicing, eating — you put me on that drug, you might as well slit my throat. You've just castrated me, and I don't mean just sexually, I mean in every way possible. I'm an artist. I work on my feelings and impulses. You've just killed me. I wanted to jump your bones and you killed me, so now I really hate you. So I call and leave a message on the unbelievably inefficient, hard-to-get-through, I-hate-this-place phone system. I finally get him and he does his "How are you doing?" And I say, "Fine. How are you doing?" He answers, "Fine. I'm getting ready to leave on vacation as soon as I'm finished here." I mean, I don't even think he realized what he said. He was so out of touch with what was going on.
  7  
  I've always believed that in these enormous "god halls," if it's not protocol, it's not done. And as the patient sits there and says, "Excuse me. I am losing the feeling in my feet," the response is, "Well, that's too bad." So, I ended up doing treatment at another place, one that included diet, exercise, mindfulness practice, and supplements. I wanted o maintain my level of health while undergoing chemotherapy. My hair did not come back dark and curly.
  8  
  I also have issues about infusion units. Whoever designed them is an idiot. I'm speaking at the symposium on American Healthcare Design and I can't wait to talk to those people.
  9  
Volume Four 
Issue Two: November 2003
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